


It’s not a date... or maybe it is.

by erindoestoomuch



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Basically a “family-friendly” version ?, Bisexual Evan!, Bisexual(?) Connor, Its not that great im sorry, Like Evan doesn’t try to commit suicide, M/M, Neither does Connor, Sort of happier Au?, Treebros, conflicted feelings, just a couple of guys being dudes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-07-10 12:00:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15948926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erindoestoomuch/pseuds/erindoestoomuch
Summary: Written on 9/7/17.Set in a timeline where, instead of Connor committing suicide, he instead spends the rest of the first day of school seeing if Evan is “good enough” to date his sister. Along the way, feelings start to blossom... and it makes them both wonder what’s next.





	It’s not a date... or maybe it is.

I never thought that I'd meet who I was destined to be with in a computer lab. Or, well, I never thought I'd meet who I was destined to be with while I wrote about how hot his sister was on the computer. Let me explain.

My name is Evan Hansen, and I'm currently sitting in awe as my computer is ripped out of my hands with the strength of a bull. Who took my computer? None other than Connor Murphy, one of the most quiet and scariest kids in school. I haven't met him formally to say how accurate those claims are, but based on the look on his face, he wasn't too pleased by what he was reading.

Now, don't get me wrong, I can understand being overprotective with your sister and not wanting anyone to touch her, but there's a thin line between being protective and being an asshole. And what he was being was far from protective. He had this deep set glare on his face as he skimmed over the words on the page, and I could just tell he was about to blow. I wanted to apologize and tell him that it wasn't meant to offend him, but I couldn't force the words out of my mouth when I started to take in his appearance.

Shaggy brown locks of hair resting just past his shoulders and bangs almost covering his eyes, which were a dark brown, pale skin that looked as if he hadn't been outside in weeks... a skinny physique that I myself was jealous of, and I thought I was skinny! He wore a dark grey hoodie over black skinny jeans, and from what I could see he wore grey combat boots to only add to his height. I gulped as he finally looked down at me.

His eyes had an intense fire in them that caused me to press my back into the padded desk chair with an alarming speed. 

"I would appreciate it if you didn't call my sister hot, you freak. This is a threat, isn't it!"

I blink and feel my mouth moving, yet I can't catch my words before they come out.

"I'm not trying to threaten you man, I just thought she was attractive okay?! Just lay off man. I didn't mean to offend you-"

"Well, mean it or not, it still happened. I can't believe that the first opportunity you get to type you write stuff like this. Do you even have a filter?" He asks me, closing the laptop screen over the keyboard with a look of complete annoyance.

I bite my tongue and hope the look I'm giving will make him leave me alone. It doesn't.

Instead, he pauses for a moment, then sets down the laptop and leans over me. I feel so small compared to him.

"Tell you what, Hansen. I'll see if you're even worth my sister's time, is that good? Don't answer that, it's going to happen if you want to even look at her again."

I can't believe what I'm hearing, and my face must be a visible cue of this. He snorts from it, then locks eyes with me to keep me in place with intimidation.

"Write down your address and I'll pick you up after school. We'll go to the park and whatnot, that's where she always wanted to have her first date. Are you in or not. If you say "not," you won't be allowed to date her in the slightest." He explains, tapping on the top of the laptop as I nod frantically. It's as if I can't find my words. 

"Then get to it Hansen. I'm not one to just sit around and wait for something to happen, I'm more of a.. how do you say it.. man of action. Go write down your address for me, 'kay?"

I try to calm down as I take out a piece of paper from my notebook, scribble my address on it, then hand it to him. He nods approvingly and folds it so it fits in his pocket, then glances back at me with his hair swaying. 

"Are you going to write anything else, Hansen? About my sister I mean."

"Not if I want her brother to like me." I find myself saying with a confident tone, which shifts his cocky look to a calm one.

"Well, I guess we'll have to see how you act away from here, Mr. Social Anxiety." With that, he picks back up the laptop, nods his head towards me, then confidently walks back to his seat, opening up the document to add something to it.

I fold my hands together and ease my head into them with a sigh. If this is how this year is gonna be, I'm going to be struggling by. 

All day I'm anxious to see what it may be like after school, yet I find myself a tad excited at the same time. Aside from Jared, who's been my friend since as long as I can remember, I can't recall when I hung out with someone besides him unless it was for a project. And, don't get me wrong although Connor's intimidating, I still feel like he'll be great company. Perhaps he's one of those soft-spoken kind of guys who only gets comfortable when he likes the person he's with?

.....After school...

It turns out I was wrong. Connor Murphy is just very rude when he thinks people like his sister I guess. But, I have some hope that he'll be kinder when we get to the park... which, I might add, we aren't even heading towards at the moment. We're going in the direction of the ice cream place; "Á la Mode," and it's odd that out of all places he'd take me here. Didn't he say that Zoe would like her first date at the park, not the ice cream place? 

I open my mouth to ask that exact question, but the sudden use of the cars brakes makes me almost recoil in shock. It's as if the seatbelt wanted me to slam my head into the dash, because that's exactly what happens. And when it does, it hurts like hell. I groan loudly and I can hear Connor snicker at my pain, as if he was expecting it, but then I hear the car engine go off and his buckle come undone. 

He then opens his car door and steps out, starting up a conversation as he does so.

"We're here, if you want to come out it would be wise, otherwise you're trapped in a hot car. Wouldn't want you melting." 

I of course unbuckle and step out rather quickly before his sentence even ends, a determined look on my face as I meet his gaze. He seems entertained by my antics, but it's as if he's forcing himself not to smile. I'm not sure why he doesn't want to smile though, maybe it's because he wants to look tough?

Anyway, as I step out he goes around the front of the car to walk beside me, and while I normally would say this was strange, I then realize that not only were we indeed at the ice cream place, but we were at the ice cream place when it was crowded. And when I say crowded, I mean packed beyond belief. The line around the building seemed to be wrapped around for blocks, yet Connor didn't look bothered in the slightest. In fact, he looked blissfully pleased.

"Lines show your patience. You willing to wait through all this?" He questions, his eyes scanning all over my face for a sign of disapproval. He wouldn't find any here, I'm probably one of the most patient people he'll ever meet.

"I guess. Are you willing to?"

"Duh. Why else would I bring you here on free scoop day?" 

Oh, so it just so happened to be free scoop day when he had to prove himself good enough for his sister? Awesome...

"Why do I feel like this is somehow planned?"

"Because you can't handle things being ironic. Or, well, you can't handle things being off putting. That accurate?" Connor asks me, as casually as if he's asking for the weather.

I scoff.

"Not in the slightest. I just... things like this are weird. Like first you act like you want to hurt me and beat me up-"

"To which if you mention my sister being hot again I will-"

"...Okay... Well still, now you act as if I'm your date or something."

That gets quite the reaction out of him.

"Excuse me? Hansen, you aren't thinking straight. Actually, you're acting quite gay. I would never take you out on a date. Especially one as lame as this. Lord, do you assume things." He seems to mutter the final part and shake his head, and I try not to let my embarrassment show. 

'Of course he wasn't meaning for this to seem like a date, he's doing this so he can see how I act.' I seem to agree with my thoughts since I clear my throat, thus instantly catching Connor's attention once more. I'm not even sure if he wants to talk to me, but since he dragged me out here he'll have to listen.

"I didn't mean it like that. On dates don't people go out to crowded places to just have a good time?" My question seems to amuse him, because he barks out a laugh and gives a look that can be described as saying; 'really.'

"I'm not here to have a good time. If it turns out to be, then that's great, whatever. I'm here with you for a reason. And that reason has been shown clear as day! So unless you have something to say relating to the place around us, there's no reason to speak." He spits out, his words jumbling together with such venom that I'm actually taken aback.

It's only then that I realize how bothered by the situation Connor seems. His eyes are darting around like fish in a current, his brows are furrowed in such an intense gaze that perhaps if I was in his main focus, his look would kill me on the spot. It's understandable to be annoyed or something, but I can't tell whether he's upset or trying not to kill me right now.

It must just be that he's upset, because he isn't trying to strangle me or anything. Although I bet he thought about doing that earlier.... Anyways. The line seems to have not moved for a while, and I'm actually getting impatient. Who would've guessed? I never get impatient, but I guess it's my nerves acting up and telling me to just "hurry up." I let out a sigh and let my thoughts wander.

Will I actually get to date Zoe after this, or is he just going to tell her I'm not worthy after this? Will he even talk to her about this? Does he care enough about the situation to even have an input?...

A sudden grab at my wrist from Connor snaps me out of my thoughts and I'm suddenly dragged over to a couple who're just sitting down, and I then realize what he's doing. He's planning on stealing their ice cream so we can leave. At first I was thinking of telling him to stop and for us to just go back in line, but on second thought this would be a lot quicker and easier if we can run quickly back to the car. 

He takes notice of my realization and flashes me a smirk, and I watch as he waits for the couple to stop paying attention to their ice cream long enough to steal. Then, in the blink of an eye, he grabs both cones out of their hands and practically scrambles to the car, with me hot on his tail. He hands the cones to me as we get in the car and he starts it up, adrenaline shown on his face as he hears the angry screams of the couple trying to find the culprit of the misdeed.

They don't even realize it was us as we start to drive off. I felt my body was jittery for a while after that, but nonetheless I buckled up and took a long sigh. Connor had buckled already as he took a cone out of my hand, but he didn't seem to want to talk in favor of trying the flavor of ice cream he'd stolen.

"Try yours Hansen, mine is chocolate."

I shrug slightly and take a lick of mine, a surprised look spreading across my face as I go back into the crevasses of my mind to find the flavor I'm thinking it is.

"Mine's birthday cake." I finally say, to which I see a smile go across Connor's face before he catches it and stops.

"That was my favorite flavor as a kid."

"No kidding?" I must sound shocked, but how can I not, imagining such a tough guy like Connor enjoying a sweet and sugary flavor like birthday cake.

The image made in my mind must be nothing like the truth, but I'm still surprised that Connor would just share that with me for no reason. I thought he didn't want to have fun, but wasn't part of fun sharing things to interest others? Or, well, to interest me? I'm so confused when it comes to things regarding Connor..

"Do you mind if I have a little bit, Hansen?"

I noticed that he only calls me Hansen. 

"Call me Evan and you can."

He grimaces for a moment, then continues speaking.

"Do you mind if I have a little bit, Evan."

"Not at all." 

I watch as he keeps one eye on the road and as he leans over to take a swift lick off my ice-cream, to which I let an amused laugh go past my lips. 

He seems to enjoy that one lick enough since he focuses fully back on the road until he takes a turn, and I hear a gasp.

"I've never gone this way before."

"Huh?" I ask.

"This... do you see the field? Forget the park, Zoe would much rather go here."

'Or maybe it's just you speaking for her.' I think, but I can't deny that I am extremely excited by the sight of trees out past the field. Call me whatever you'd like, but trees have always been something that I was a fan of. I love climbing them, sitting in them, looking at the world below from them.... god, I love trees.

"Hansen, you up for going out in the field and eating our ice cream there?" 

I don't correct him this time for fear of annoying him, but I do end up nodding as my response. Besides, it's an open field, what's the worst thing that can happen?

We park the car and walk out together into the field, and it's then that I notice that Connor is much more chill and unwinded now. So, seeing this, I start a conversation with him as we sit down.

"Do you listen to a lot of bands?"

He shoots me a look that I can only describe as 'flat out annoyed,' but I don't think he's annoyed at me talking, rather at the question I asked him.

"Do you expect me to not listen to a lot of bands?"

"No, no, I just wanted to know if you listen to a lot of them, that's all.." I clarify, licking off the dripping ice cream from the cone.

"Yes, more than I can really count honestly. I'd ask you if you could recognize a quote but I'm not sure if you even listen to the same kind of music as I do."

I pause before raising a brow with a challenging smirk.

"Really? Try me."

He doesn't even hesitate.

"When you're weary, feeling small, tears are in your eyes, I will dry them all. I'm on your side when times get tough, like a..."

I grin as I recall listening to this exact song on the radio not even a week ago, and I straighten up to proudly tell him so.

"Bridge over troubled water. That's an easy one Connor, give me a real challenge. Also, are Simon and Garfunkel really a band?" I say, taking another lick from my ice-cream with an innocent look in my eyes. 

"Beats me. How's about this one; 'To hope his admittance, feed before beginning, double-sided cynics, reflected images..'"

I find myself stumped and immediately regret asking for a challenge.

"I uh. Have no idea."

He seems to chuckle at that, finding it funny before he leans towards me and lowers his voice.

"Well, okay. Well, the answer I was looking for was 'Misery loves Company' by Nirvana, but that's fine to not know I guess." He casually tells me as he crumbles his cone into his mouth all at once, then wipes his hands on the grass around us.

"How about I challenge you now, since you know so many songs."

"Go for it." 

I think for a moment.

"Up on the mountain I see down below, it's easy to lose yourself, I know..."

"In Between by Beartooth. Next?"

I frown at how quickly he gets that. Okay, so he knows a lot of dark depressing songs since he's dark and depressing...

"If happy ever after did exist, I would still be holding you like this. All those fairytales are full of..."

"Payphone by Maroon 5. Come on, give me a challenge!" He cries out, as if he's upset, but I can tell by the tone of his voice that he's just joking around.

"I can move mountains, I can work a miracle. Keep you like an oath, may nothing but death do us part..."

I seem to have stumped him. I'm a little shocked honestly, since nearly everyone I know knows about this song and who Uma Thurman is. Has he not heard this song?

"Do you not listen to Fall Out Boy?"

"No, not normally. And how would I know what this song is? It sounds so high energy."

I roll my eyes and scoff.

"This song was only played a million times over the course of the last two years. You seriously don't know 'Uma Thurman?!'"

"Am I supposed to?"

I throw the rest of my ice-cream into the grass and nod rather quickly.

"It's based off of an actress and how she moves on screen and whatnot, I believe."

"Let me guess; the song's named after her?"

"Yep. And it's pretty catchy."

"Well if you know it so well, sing me a bit of it, Hansen."

I freeze up.

"Wh-what?"

"Sing me a bit of the song, if you know it as well as you say you do."

I clear my throat.

"Uh, well actually I don't sing-"

"Bullshit." Again, joking tone.

I try to gather my courage.

"She wants to dance like Uma Thurman, burry me until I confess. She wants to dance like Uma Thurman, and I can't get you out of my head. The stench, the stench, of summer sex, and CK eternity, oh, hell yes!" I start, watching as Connor's nose wrinkles at the mention of sex and he raises a brow.

"You never told me sex was mentioned in this song, Hansen."

I stop singing.

"You never asked. And it's not like the songs that are played nowadays aren't all about sex, of course this one just happens to be-"

"Hansen, they're almost all about sex, be real. What, does the image of my sister cloud your mind too much to think of that?" He teases, but I laugh anyway out of nerves and worry.

"Sure, sure. Do you want me to sing more?"

"Nah, even if you do sing okay. Do you think I can be as boring as you and still get girls?"

"Hey, I'm not boring!"

"Hansen, you wear khakis and a polo shirt! What's more boring than that!" I see that he's burst into laughter now, and I'm not entirely sure why, since it isn't too funny to begin with.

I laugh anyway, though.

"I guess nothing. Are you joking with me right now, by the way? Is that what's going on here?"

He glances at me through his "giggle-fit" and nods, so I continue.

"Are we actually talking without you threatening me?" 

We both seem in awe of this realization.

"I suppose we are. And damn, I haven't laughed that hard in a while."

"It wasn't that funny, I mean-"

"We have very different senses of humor, Hansen. Let me be odd."

"I'm not asking you to change yourself for me, Connor. You're fine the way you are."

....  
The awkward silence that fills the air makes me nervous. 

Connor takes a long breath.

"Thanks, I guess? I mean I'm not trying to impress anybody here. I'm just... I don't know." He admits, combing back his hair with his fingers before allowing it to flow back in and frame his face.

"It's okay to not know, you know...."  
I change gears mid-sentence and change the topic; "did you notice how the sun looks from here? I mean, bright and all."

Connor snickers. "'Bright and all?' Really, Hansen? That the best you could come up with?"

"Think you can do better?"

"So much. It reminds me of a lake shimmering in its glowing light, and the beauty it holds seems so false, like you want to touch it and treasure it, but of course, everything comes to an end..." he rambles, and I find myself enwrapped in his description of the sun above us.

"I mean, that's totally what I was thinking now that you mention it," I try to play off, but he sees right through it and shakes his head with a coy smirk.

"Do you want to see what the sun does to the rest of the place, or are you too busy being awed by it being 'bright and all?'"

His teasing spurs me on, so of course I let out a "Yes, I do" before I can stop myself, and I realize then that I need to think out my options from now on before I speak.

He rises off the ground and waits for me to join him, and soon we're back to talking, but this time we're on our feet and walking towards the sun.

He asks me what I think I'll do after high school, and I'm a bit shocked at how blunt he asks it.

I really haven't thought about it in all actuality, so I just say what pops in my head.

"I want to bike the Appalachian trail, or write a book, or..."

"Learn to sail? I had a feeling you'd say something like that."

"Yeah, that too. Wouldn't that be cool?"

"I guess. Onto the next subject, aside from Zoe, there any girls that catch your eye, but you don't catch theirs?"

I now know that he was only trying to be nice at this point, but I felt that in this moment, he wanted to know all about me, and it made my stomach feel jittery.

"Uhm.. no. Nope."

I lied. But he didn't mention anything about guys catching my eye, so I guess I'm safe.

As we walk across the field I find myself glancing around and talking in the view, and I must admit; Connor's description was spot on. As I turn to ask him another question, he looks at me with a perplexed look, and I almost ask him what's bothering him instead before he answers that for me.

"This may sound weird, but there's nowhere I'd rather be right now."

I find myself relaxing more and more.

"Me too."

In that moment, it felt like the whole world stopped. I now can look at Connor and know that he is much more than I thought he was; how he actually listens to decent music, how he has a wicked sense of humor, how he can be tough yet encouraging....

I look back up at the sky and take a deep breath.

And then I let it out.

And as I let it out, there's childlike glee spreading across Connor's face little by little. I notice then that his eyes are off me and at a tree way past me, which just so happens to be the tallest one.

He starts to run towards it. He's quite fast, given his long stride by his height, and within what feels like seconds, he's standing in front of it, a smile on his face reminiscent of a champion.

It's then that I hear his voice call out to me across the yellow field.

"Follow me!"

I find myself wondering what the world might look like from up so high, and soon I'm racing after him. As I approach the tree I glance upwards and see him climbing one branch after the other, and I take this as a competition. 

One foot after the other, one branch, then to another, I climb higher and higher, and I climb until the entire sun shines on my face.

 

....

That moment is blissful...

But yet it doesn't last.

I suddenly feel the branch give way, and I'm tumbling down. Branch after branch that I'd so expertly climbed assaulting me with sharp points and rough edges, and when I open my eyes that I'd closed from the sun...

I'm on the ground. My arm starts to go numb. I feel the worry bubbling in my chest as I look around, and it's then that I take notice of Connor scurrying down the tree to get me. My worry subsides.

He came to get me. 

...

As he approaches me I can see the concern on his face as clear as the sky above us, and he lets out a shuddering sigh. 

"I was worried that you'd died for a moment there. Not that you would from a fall of about ten feet, but still. The concerns there." he explains, his voice so low it's almost as if he's whispering me a secret. 

It's then that I try to find my voice.

"You came to get me."

He makes a face.

"Of course I came to get you, I'm not that big of an asshole."

I nod enthusiastically in agreeance, and a laugh bubbles out of my mouth.

"You're not an asshole at all, I don't think. But can you drive me to the hospital now?"

"Yep, no problem at all. It's just a shame..." his voice trails off.

"What is?"

"That we have to end this perfect day here. You know, earlier wasn't the greatest and now clearly it isn't since I think you broke something or may be bleeding, but still. I had a lot more fun than I thought I would. And, I'm shocked." 

As he explains this to me he wraps my arm that I can actually feel around his shoulders- since he'd seen me wince when he went to grab the other one- and we walk together back to his car, to which he helps me inside and even buckles me up. If I wasn't in so much pain I'd probably be embarrassed, but since I am I just give him a small smile as thanks as he gets in the car himself. 

I can tell that he's quite bothered, and my stomach seems to sink a bit at the sight of a frown on his face after I'd seen his smile so many times today. I wish that I could just reach my hand out and take his to assure him it would be okay, that there would be other times to have a day together, but I fight back that wish, since I know how awkward that would be for him. Plus, he doesn't even notice that I'm into guys too, so who knows how this would even work if I told him.

I try to distract my mind by focusing on my arm, but that doesn't last long before Connor starts asking me the directions to the E.R.

"Do I turn left on the next road?"

"No, you keep moving forward until you see a stop sign."

"Alright, got it." He paused, then glanced at me as he started the drive. "How does your arm feel."

"I can't feel anything. At least it's the only thing I can't feel, though."

Connor had sighed at that, and I couldn't tell if it was in relief or in worry.

"Do I turn right now?"

"Yeah. I think we're about ten minutes from the hospital if I had to guess."

"That's not too far. But do you want to call your mom when we get to the E.R?"

"I mean I can. But I bet she'd be confused if I called from a number that wasn't my own.. Okay, yes, I do want you to call when we get there. I'll tell you the number then."

"Alright. Fine by me."

The rest of the ride to the hospital is quiet, almost too quiet, but I don't try to start up a conversation at this point, especially since Connor seems so focused on getting me to the emergency room instead. 

...

We make it to the emergency room in record time. A lot faster than 10 minutes, I'd say. But I can't tell, since the clock in Connor's car seems off. Anyways, we get out- or, he gets our first and helps me out next- and we walk in to find that there was quite a wait ahead of us. Nothing like you'd see in the movies or tv shows and how you get in and get out within ten seconds of getting there, rather we have a wait that I can estimate of about an hour ahead of us.

Connor seems annoyed by this. Looking around I can see why; everyone else there just has a cold of some sort. Sniffling, coughing, shivering, you know, the normal signs of it. No one else here has an arm that could possibly be broken, but then again, no one else here went tree climbing if I was willing to make a guess.

It's only then that it dawns on me; I got hurt climbing a tree of all things. Not anything exciting, like getting in a car accident, rather falling out of a tree. Well... that's embarrassing. 

I go to ask Connor what he thinks we should do to wait, but I notice that he's gotten up to get the sheet that explains why you're here. He comes back and takes me by the hand over to two seats, to which we sit down and he starts asking me questions regarding the sheet.

I answer my full name, date of birth, and all the personal questions before we're stumped at what to write in for our reason being here.

"After climbing up and falling out of a very tall tree, we have concerns of something being broken or open, since he(Evan) can't feel his left arm in the slightest?" Connor suggests, and I hesitate before nodding in agreement with his choice of phrasing.

As soon as Connor gets up and turns in our sheet, I start to wonder what relationship choice he'd put for "relationship with patient." Did he put friend? Best friend? Acquaintance? Stranger? Well, that last one wouldn't make sense, but still.

Moments later, he's back, and when I actually ask him what he put, he shrugs with an innocent smile. I quirk a brow up and stare at him, but that smile just doesn't go away. 

I stare at him the remainder of our wait, and I don't regret it in the slightest.

...

When we get into the exam room I'm a tad nervous about what's going to be done, but at the same time I'm really just wanting this to be over with.

The exam goes on without a hitch, with my arm attempted to be lifted and moved and whatnot, but when I go in for x-rays, I start to worry about there being either a fracture or a broken bone. 

Broken bone is the correct answer in this equation. Connor and I exchange a look after the news is shared to us, and I hear him curse under his breath. I've never broken a bone before, and I'm anxious. 

"Don't they set the bone in place?" Connor asks me after the doctor leaves the room to get his materials, and I shrug. 

"I've never broken a bone, Connor."

"Really? Wow. Well, I'm pretty sure that's what happens though, so we'll have to find out when they come back."

"I guess we do."

Connor ends up guessing right of course, and setting the bone in place is one of the most painful things I've ever felt in my life. I have tears coming out of my eyes from it, and I'm gripping the table under me with such pressure that even Connor is worried about the pain. Well he was worried before, but still. More so after seeing me tear up.

The cast goes on without a hitch and I refuse to look Connor in the eye, since after all I must be such a wuss to tear up at a bone being put in its right place. But he doesn't seem to mind, since he just sits there waiting for me to say "let's go" after the doctor dismisses us.

I don't say it for a little while, and he takes that opportunity to get up and grab the marker off the the doctor had set his things down on. When he returns he stands in front of me and I have almost no choice but to meet his gaze, and I notice that he has a look on his face that even I can't describe.

"Can I sign your cast?"

I blink.

"Huh?"

"You know, since it was my fault for wanting to climb trees, can I sign your cast?"

In my head I'm counting all the ways to say "yes," but what comes out of my mouth surprises me.

"Only if you make it huge."

Connor grins at that, and nods his head to the point of his fluffy hair bouncing on his shoulders.

Just as I had requested, he signed his name on my cast in big, bold letters; CONNOR. I almost gush at the sight of it, but I catch myself at the last moment.

"Thanks." Why does my voice come out almost as a whisper?

"You're welcome. You ready to go?"

I slide off the examining table to answer his question, and as we walk out, Connor walks a bit closer to me, and it's sorta nice, if I'm being honest. He's close enough that I can smell his cologne, but I could smell it earlier too, so it's not the most surprising thing here. But, smelling it now, I'm taking notice of the scent itself, and I laugh at its ironicalness. 

"Your cologne is of pine trees and oak."

"Yeah, why do you mention it?"

"I just fell out of a tree and broke my arm; I find it funny."

It takes him a moment to get what I mean, and when he does, the look he makes is priceless.

"Oh." Is all he can say, and I can't blame him. 

We walk out to his car after exiting the E.R, and it's then that I choose the "perfect" time to ask him what's been on my mind all day.

"What are we?" The question seems to throw him through a loop.

"What?"

"I said, what are we. Are we friends?"

He scoffs, and I start thinking of what I think he may say, but, like earlier, what he says isn't what I expect.

"Do not-friends just ask to sign casts and help the other person to the E.R?"

"No?"

"Then we aren't not-friends."

It takes me a moment before I snort.

"So we're friends."

"Yes."

"Was that your intention all along?"

He gapes at me.

"Why do you think that?"

"Well, you had wanted originally to help me get with Zoe-I think at least- but after we got on the road you just took me on an adventure. An adventure that honestly was the best I'd ever been on." I tell him, glancing down at my cast and inwardly admiring his delicate, yet rough handwriting.

"I mean, I didn't not want you to be with your crush, just telling you that now, but I also sorta wanted to see how you'd act one-on-one. As for it being an adventure..."

"Yeah?"

He gives me a wink.

"That was the intention, yeah. To take you somewhere that hopefully you had fun at, but then again you did fall out of a tree."

"And since I fell out of the tree I broke my arm." I finish for him, nudging him with my elbow before we get in his car.

Connor then reminds me that we forgot to call my mom, and I feel some panic start in my chest. My heart thumps quicker and quicker and I feel my breaths get harder and-

"Hansen, look at me, you're panicking." 

I lock eyes with him and try not to breathe as heavily.

"I'll drive you home. I can explain to your mom what happened, and we can just relax at your house if your mom says it's alright. Does that work for you?" He tells me this in such a calm voice that it's hard for me to not listen, so I just give him an audible nod before he takes off up the road.

"My mom'll like you, just so you know."

That gets a smile to show on Connor's face again.

"You think so? I was thinking the same here; my mom'll be happy to see that I have a friend. But when you meet her, be ready for some hugs and lots of questions."

I calm down a bit more.

"I wonder when I can meet her, though. Since I have to get home soon and ready for school tomorrow."

"We can always skip? Since if I was your mom, I wouldn't let you go after just breaking a bone. And I can fake a cold. You can come over to visit me and whatnot."

"I've never skipped before, but I'll think about it, believe me."

"You have time to consider it, don't worry." He assures, and then starts to ask the directions to my house.

 

....

My mother is not too pleased when I get out of Connor's car and she lays eyes on my cast. But, that unpleasantness is gone pretty quickly when Connor gets out too, and she puts on that fake smile that moms put on when there's company over.

"Excuse us for the late time getting Evan home ma'am, he was out with me all day after school." Connor explains to her, and although it sounds good at first, he quickly changes the topic of interest to the cast.

"Don't be mad at Evan for that by the way, we were climbing trees and he fell, and it's broken pretty bad. Also. As for the medical bills, they'll be delivered to my house, so don't you fret over this, okay?"

I try not to laugh as my mom's eyes get as wide as saucers.

"Oh. Well, you didn't need to do that, Mr.-"

"Please, just call me Connor."

"-Connor. Did you take care of him otherwise?"

"Yes, ma'am. Do you mind if I come in with him? I want to make sure he gets inside safely."

Oh, if only Connor was a girl, my mom would be so excited to have someone like him in the family!

"Not at all, come right in! Oh, and Evan, your dinner is in the microwave when you're ready to eat it."

"Got it!" I tell her, and Connor and I race inside to avoid further conversation.

"Wow, you have a nice house." He comments, and I simply nod before leading him upstairs to my room.

He steps inside and loses it when he lays eyes on the book on my desk. The book titled "Tallest Tree in Pine Oak." I can see why he finds everything so funny, I must be "tree-boy" to him.

"You must really love trees."

"I used to until I fell from one."

"You're gonna let one bad experience ruin your whole view of them?"

I take a moment to think of what he's saying.

"So I should climb more trees even if I may get hurt again?"

"Yes!" He cries, throwing his hands in the air hysterically.

"Have you ever done something like this? Like not broken a bone, but love something, then hate it after one bad experience?"

It takes him a moment to respond.

"Yea. But this isn't about me right now. It's about finding out how you're gonna sleep and shower with that cast on."

I groan outwardly at the thought of either of those.

"I didn't even think about any of that." 

"Well, now you are! Let's think of the tips the doctor told us."

I look at Connor as if he has two heads.

"The doctor had tips?"

"Oh right, you were too busy in pain to listen to anything the doctor was saying. Yeah, he had a few."

"But they sorta go like this; when showering, put a bag or something similar over your cast as to not get it wet. Or, take sponge baths and all that. As for sleeping... I think he said something like 'keep it above heart level so that it doesn't swell.'" I take in this information and nod.

"Can you write that all down for me?"

Connor shrugs, then grabs a piece of paper from my desk and a pencil and starts writing these tips down. I gratefully sigh and sit down on my bed, and it's then that I feel how sensitive my arm really is right now.

"Did he say anything about the arm being sensitive?"

"Mm? Oh, yeah. He said it would be sensitive for a few days."

"Great.." I groan, flopping onto my back and hissing in pain before moving my arm as much as I can above my heart.

"Do you need any pills or anything?" I hear him ask, and I hesitate for a moment before nodding once more.

"We have aspirin and stuff in my bathroom in the medicine cabinet behind the mirror." I tell him, closing my eyes for a moment as I hear Connor get up and go down the hall.

I find myself dozing off until he comes back with a glass of water and the aspirin, and I open my eyes with a small smile before taking the pills and swallowing the water.

"Thanks. For everything." 

He clears his throat, then nods and sits next to me on my bed.

"Don't mention it, its fine. But uh. I'm going to tell you now, I have sort of a reputation around school. Being 'bad and hardcore' and all. So... can you maybe just act along with me at school? I'll be like this when we're alone, but I don't want to know what it'll be like if I'm accidentally nice and everyone just stares. They'd assume we were a couple or something." He explains, fidgeting with his hands and jacket sleeves as I listen intently. 

I feel my stomach sink at how unsure of himself he seems, and then I understand why he was being so rude and such in public... it's all an act.

I hesitantly reach out my other arm-the non-broken one- and set it on his knee to try and reassure him that he would be alright, and that yes, I would play along if that's what he wanted. He sighed in relief and stopped picking at his black painted nails, to which I moved my hand off his knee and set it back next to me. 

"Thank you so much, Hansen. You're a true friend."

"No problem. I know what it's like to be scared of what people may think of you." I tell him, frowning a little bit at the thought.

"Really? I just thought you were socially awkward." He joked, but after seeing the look on my face, he shut his mouth and sighed. 

"Sorry, that was... that wasn't cool."

"No, it's fine. I'm just having a long day." 

He snorted at that.

"I'm aware, I've been there all day with you."

"That was you?" I joke, laughing softly when he picks up a pillow near me and lightly smacks my chest with it.

"Yes, that was me. Who else would steal ice cream and take you out tree-climbing?"

"Who else would take me on a date so I could date your sister?" I slam my lips together in shock when I realize what I'd said.

The words couldn't be taken back now, and I immediately regret saying them when I see Connor's expression shift.

"You seriously still think this is a date? Even after I told you it wasn't?" He asks me with a harsh tone, pushing at my side as if he was pushing me for real.

I swallow hard and try not to meet his heavy gaze. 

"No, that's not what I meant again-"

"Hansen, are you crushing on me?" 

I bite my tongue and move my head away from him. I don't want him to see my face right now. I don't want him to hear what's going on inside my head. 

"Hansen- Evan. Look at me." His tone is a bit calmer now, but it still holds that unpredictable fire that could burn me at any time.

I slowly lift my head back to look at him, and when I see his face, I want to hide again.

"I just... I didn't mean to say that. Forget it." I mumble, almost into the pillow rather than Connor.

"This is the second time you've brought up us dating today. I don't know how you can't mean it if you say it again. Tell me the truth here."

I take a deep breath and sit up as well as I can with my arm resting at heart level.

"I'm not sure, being completely honest. It's like.. I've only admired your sister. I haven't gotten a chance like this to get to know her, and from what I experienced with you today, I'm almost losing that feeling of admiration for her. Is that weird?"

He seems to contemplate, but soon he shrugs and groans as he buries his face in his hands.

"Jesus... I just don't know what to say here, Hansen." He manages, and I feel like I should keep talking, so I do.

"I don't want to come off strong or anything, but I feel an admiration forming for you. I want to spend more time with you like I did today." 

"Tell me if I'm wrong here. You want to spend more time with me because you got to hang out with me all day, and because of this, you are interested in me, and not my sister?"

....

"I mean you aren't wrong..." my voice trails off, and I hear an airy chuckle fill the air.

"This is what I was afraid of. It seems that I've 'got you with my charm.'" I almost smack his arm for making jokes at this time.

"Come on, be serious! That took a lot of courage, you jerk!"

"Aw, but you said earlier that I wasn't an asshole, and an asshole is sorta like a jerk."

"Two different things, Connor! Now please, let's focus on the subject at hand, not what happened earlier!" I almost beg, and Connor laughs again before agreeing with me.

"Okay, okay, jeez! But seriously, do you think I'm going to get mad about finding out that someone is crushing on me? Come on now."

"Well if you aren't mad, then what are you?"

"Conflicted. I'll tell you now that yeah, you're really fun to hang out with, but in terms of relationships, I'd rather just stay friends a bit longer..."

I sigh, but I can't help but agree with that suggestion.

"...Or we could be friends with benefits."

I gasp and smack his arm. 

"Dude!!!"

He laughs until he has to hold his sides, and then leans onto me a bit.

"Nah, I'm just messing with you. I'm okay with you liking me and all. I would love to just stay friends, but at the same time I also want to do couple things with you, like maybe cuddle and whatnot. It'll have to depend."

"So, what're you implying?..."

"We should date, but on the low. Not too obvious or anything." 

I blink and can't help but smile.

"You're kidding, aren't you."

"No, I've never been more honest in my life!" He cries, an arm on top of mine for emphasis.

I snort, then move so we're face-to-face.

"If you're telling the truth, I'm more than willing to take you up on your offer. But don't get mad at me if my eyes wander over Zoe..." I tease, and I try not to laugh at the frown that goes across his face.

"If we date, I'm obviously going to get mad if you stare at my sister. I thought you said I was more interesting!"

"You are! I'm only teasing, I promise." To prove my point, I tap his nose, and now it's Connor's turn to try not to laugh.

"You're so lame."

"Don't act like you aren't."

"I'm the opposite of lame, thank you very much."

"I beg to differ."

"You're begging me already? We haven't even had our first official date, let alone our first kiss!" 

It takes me a minute to get his inside-joke, and soon I'm hitting him with my pillow and laughing.

I can't help it, he's such a dork around me. Is he like this around anyone else? God, I hope not. This is the first time I've had someone be so mean yet so caring at the same time, and it's as if the very thought of Connor makes me shudder. He's someone I would've never expected to like, let alone someone that would like me back.

I'm soon hit in the face with a pillow in retaliation, and my laughs can't be hidden at this point. Connor's laughing with me, and I can't get enough of hearing his laugh. I can't wait to hang out with him more, because I feel like he's going to be an amazing experience. I try to make him stop assaulting me with the pillow long enough to have a talk, but I don't even get to wait four seconds before I'm hit again. He's being careful of my cast, which I appreciate, but I'm getting tired, and it's hard for me to hit back to make this fair.

Connor doesn't seem to think about being fair. At least, not when it comes to pillow fighting. When I put my hand up to stop him and surrender, he takes it and lightly hits it with the pillow, and I can't help but think that he's acting like a kid. Maybe he misses that.. I know I do. But if this is how being a teenager is, I'm willing to abandon wanting to be a kid.

"You wanna invite my mom over so our moms can meet? It'll be a lot easier.. plus I can stay longer." He suggests, and I feel my smile getting bigger. 

"If I had the option, you'd stay all night. The house phone is in my mom's room by her bed, if you want me to go get it."

"Yes, please. You're the best."

I wink at him as I get up and go into my mother's room, and when I bring the phone back, I see Connor sprawled out on my bed with his hair out of his face.

I decide that he looks good like that.

"Here you go." I hand him the phone almost too casually, and clear my throat when he blows me a kiss. I can't tell if he did it to be funny or to be romantic, but that's the same feeling I've had all day with him. 

"You sure you don't want to get rid of me?"

"I'll never get rid of you."

"Promise?"

"Promise. You're too cool to get rid of."

That makes him roll his eyes, but he's still smiling like he won a million dollars.

"I'd hope so, since you need some of my coolness to rub off on you."

"If I have to paint my nails and grow my hair out to be cool, then no thanks."

He puts his hand over his heart in mock offense.

"I could've made you look and act so cool, but you ruined that offer by offending me."

I stick out my tongue and wink.

That makes him stare before he takes the camera off my dresser and takes a photo of me before I can protest.

"You're so lame, Hansen."

I simply shrug.

"But you say that like it's a bad thing."

He sets the camera back down and pulls me down onto the bed next to him, and as he dials in his mom's phone number, he wraps an arm around my shoulders to make sure I'm as close as I can be.

"I take back what I said; you being lame is the greatest thing I've ever experienced."

I feel myself beam at him as I set my head on his chest, and at that moment, I realize; this is who I belong with.


End file.
